• RevShirleyMurphy

Church Football – Author Unknown




  • Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.


  • Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.


  • Halftime - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.


  • Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.


  • Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.


  • Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.


  • Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.


  • Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.


  • Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".


  • Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.


  • End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.


  • Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.


  • Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.


  • Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.


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