Ø Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Ø Be careless in your dress if you will but keep a tidy soul.
Ø There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Ø Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Ø We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.
Ø If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Ø Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Ø All you need to be assured of success in this life is ignorance and confidence.
Ø Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice; it is merely a custom.
Ø It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
Ø Let us not be too particular: It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.
Ø Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Ø If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch for your chance and hit him with a brick.
Ø Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Ø There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
Ø Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Ø It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Ø Don't part with illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Ø Be careful to get out of an experience all the wisdom that is in it; not like the cat that sits down on a hot stove. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again...and that is well; but also, she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.